Who Defines You?

Summary

Have you ever felt trapped by the labels given to you? Whether you’re “the funny one” or “the messy one,” those labels don’t define you. Let’s dive into a heartwarming story about two sisters, Martha and Mary, who had their own roles to play when Jesus visited their home. While Martha busied herself with preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet, absorbing His words. Jesus saw beyond their roles and loved them for who they were.

Transcript

Whether you are the funny one or the messy one, the one that's too much or the one that's not enough, those labels do not get the final word. When Jesus died and

rose, He got the final word. He has the final say in your life, and you are fully redeemed. You are fully loved. You are fully perfect in His image. Let's imagine for a  second that Jesus is coming over to your house. Don't think about what it was back in the day.

Think of your house currently, and Jesus is coming over. What is the very first thing that you do?

Do you vacuum? Do you hide all the laundry? Do you shut all the doors? Do you bake cookies so your house smells nice and good? Do you light candles? Yep. Spray all the room sprays.

But I mean, my house is not a Pinterest-worthy house. My house is a lived-in house. I have papers everywhere that I didn't even know I had papers. I have bags that are inside bags that are inside bags. Like, that's how my brain works. And in Luke 10, that's exactly what's happening. Jesus shows up at Martha's house, and in this short, powerful story, we are reminded of something we often forget.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is simply stop and sit. But before we dive into that, let me ask y'all a question. How many of you have siblings? Raise your hand. Okay. Almost, like, someone's behind me. Like, almost all of us do.

And I have two siblings. I have an older sister, and I have a younger brother. And growing up, and especially if you're a parent as well, but growing up, your parents and family start to learn more about who you are and who your siblings are. And they, we all have different personalities. And sometimes those personalities become labels. In my family, my sister, she was the smart one, and I was the funny one. These labels, and my brother was just the brother.

He was the, I guess his label is the baby of the family. Those labels were given to my sister and myself when we were 12 and 14, and they stuck. We were sitting at my grandma's dining room table. It was my whole family, all my uncles, my aunt, and my sister was talking about an extra credit report that she did. And she's very, very smart, very musically inclined. She just has all those woven into her. And my mom turned to me and said, why didn't you do the extra credit report?

And I was like, because it was optional. I'm not, it was optional. I'm not going to do it if it was optional. And I remember my uncle turning to me and he goes, ah, you're the funny one. And you're the smart one. And I am in my late thirties, like hanging on by a thread. But still to this day, I am the funny one.

And my sister is a smart one. And I never knew what it was like to be an academic achiever. I had absolutely no pressure to ever be good at school, never. I knew my part in the family was to be kind, to keep things light and airy, and to be funny, to keep people laughing. And I fit in that box. I stayed in that box. And to me, it was comfortable, it was familiar, and it was easy.

I didn't need to be anything more than just the funny one. And maybe you guys have labels too. The athlete, the bookworm, the baby of the family, the responsible one, the dramatic one, the quiet one, and even the troublemaker. Are you the troublemaker? I have a feeling you might have been the troublemaker. That's what I think. But labels, they are everywhere, everywhere.

But after coming into the family of Jesus, I realized, because I needed a breakthrough, that he broke every worldly label off of us. The only name that sticks now is child of God, fully redeemed, perfectly made in his image. And you don't have to earn that label. You don't have to try to be perfect. It's yours. And that identity sets the foundation for today's message. Let's read Luke 10, where we meet two sisters, Mary and Martha.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me. Martha, Martha, the Lord answered. You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, or indeed only one.

Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. As I read this, I immediately started putting labels on Martha and Mary. Martha is the doer, the planner, the hostess with the mostess. Mary is the listener, the deep thinker, the calm one. But Jesus doesn't care about their roles. He cares about their hearts. So we have two sisters with two different callings.

Martha is full of joy at hosting the Lord and immediately begins preparing. She busies herself with the duties of hospitality, such as cooking, cleaning, and organizing. Mary, on the other hand, plops down at Jesus' feet, listening intently to his words. When Martha grows frustrated and asks Jesus to intervene, she says, Lord, Lord, don't you care? I am doing this all by myself. Tell her to help me. His response is both gentle and revealing.

Martha, you're anxious and worried. There is need of only one thing, and Mary has chosen the better part of it, and it will not be taken away from her. At first glance, the first time I read this many years ago, I felt like Jesus was rebuking, and it might seem like he's dismissing Martha's service, but he's not. He's inviting her into a deeper friendship, one that does not rest solely on doing but on being with him. In this, we can see ourselves both in Martha and Mary. Like Martha, we often equate love with action and service. Love is an action, especially with those that we love.

And like Mary, there are moments when our hearts long to sit quietly and be still in the presence of somebody that we love. So who's the right one here? Let's zoom out real quick and look at what happens right before Jesus comes to Martha's house. Here, we are taught a parable of the Good Samaritan, which tells the story of a traveler who is robbed, beaten, and left for dead. A priest and a Levite, who are both very highly religious people, pass by without offering help. However, a Samaritan, which is a member of the group despised by the victim's people, stops, tends to the wounded man's injuries, provides lodging, and pays for all of his care. At the end of this parable, Jesus asks, which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?

The experts in the law replied, the one who had mercy on him. Jesus told them, go and do likewise. Jesus praises the Good Samaritan and says, go and do likewise. So do we go and do, or do we sit and wait? Those are both total opposites, but the answer is yes. There's a time to serve, and there's a time to sit. Knowing which one is needed, it's all part of spiritual discernment.

Martha's mistake wasn't her work, it was her worry. The joy of welcoming a friend into your home is wholly and deeply human, especially to have a meal with somebody. But the gospel invites us to consider when Christ comes into our lives, through prayer, through people, through the scripture, through church, how often are we too busy to recognize him or too preoccupied to listen? Slowing down, as Mary did, is an act of humility and love. It allows us to truly hear the voice of Christ and receive the grace of his awesome presence. But Martha's problem isn't that she's busy. Serving is great.

Hospitality is beautiful. In fact, in John 12, we find Martha still serving, but this time she has a peaceful heart. John 12 reads, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here, a dinner was given in Jesus's honor. Martha served while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of expensive perfume she poured it on Jesus's feet and wiped her hair, wiped his feet with her hair, and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. I love that this story shows three different kinds of worship.

Martha is serving, Lazarus is lounging around, and Mary is anointing. Martha's original issue was that she let the work distract her from Jesus.

She let her role become her identity. She gets so wrapped up in doing that she misses the moment to just be. We can carry our busyness like a badge, but when it becomes our identity, we miss the better part. Sometimes we serve so hard, even at church, that we forget who we're serving or why. So one of the, I, you know, was writing this, and I was like, all right, Jesus, like, show me where in my life that I am busy doing where, where I don't want to be doing it, and so I find no joy in it. And like a light bulb, it came to me real fast, and that is doing the dishes. I don't like doing dishes.

I don't want anything to do with dishes. David, he does the dishes for us every single night. He unloads the dishwasher, then loads it, and before he goes to bed, he starts it. In the morning, unloads it, starts it all the time, and it is so nice. I even buy him, like, I buy him all the things. Like, I buy him, like, new scrubbers and new, like, fancy-smelling soap because I appreciate it so much. But there are some times, like, for example, after potluck or after, you know, the church service, like, we have the tray of donuts that needs to get washed.

We have, um, utensils that need to get washed. We have cups that need to get washed, and I will be back there washing them so mad. Y'all don't know this, but I'm, like, washing the dishes. I'm like, I don't want to be back here. I don't even like this. I don't like it. My hands are all wet, and then they're because I want to be out here.

I want to be with y'all, talking to you, learning about you, like, having a good time, laughing. Hence, keep the party going, right? But when I'm back there, there is no party. It's just me, myself, and I with my thoughts of anger. So, but God was like, when you are back there doing the dishes, you are serving your church. You are serving me. But even more so, you are allowing your friends to have communion with another.

You are allowing conversations to happen with each other. You are allowing that freedom for your church, your community, to come together, and to be together, and to learn about each other. And I was like, oh, shoot. Yes, I get it. So, my desire to not be back there turned into a a service to the Lord, and a service to every single person that walks into this beautiful church building. So, it was a real reality shift for me. Big time.

So, now, if you guys see me doing dishes back there, good job. You're listening to Jesus. That's a good job.

But I had to learn that. I had to see that. I had to see that service needs to come from a heart of already being filled up by Jesus to then pour out into others. So, what does Jesus invite us into? He invites us to release old labels. Whether you are the funny one, or the messy one, the one that's too much, or the one that's not enough, those labels do not get the final word. When Jesus died and rose, He got the final word.

He has the final say in your life, and you are fully redeemed. You are fully loved. You are fully perfect in His image. And sit before you serve. Let time with Jesus fuel your service. When we start at His feet, our doing becomes an overflow of love and not a burden of obligation. But I still won't do dishes at home. Sorry. Love you.

Recognize your worth. Mary wasn't less than because she wasn't in the kitchen, and Martha wasn't unworthy because she was busy. Both were loved, and both were seen. Hold on. Wow. So, in conclusion, I thought I had another piece of paper, but I don't. So, in conclusion, today's passage is a holy invitation to come back to what matters most.

You are not your label. You are not your checklist. You are not your productivity. You are a child of God, fully seen, fully loved, and fully welcomed to sit at His feet. So, come and sit. Let go and serve, but always start with Jesus because when you choose the better part, it will never be taken away from you.